Seal of the EEOC

What Would You Do If President Trump Grabbed Your ‘Pussy’? — A Serious Question For Victoria A. Lipnic, Trump’s Acting Chair Of The EEOC

Trigger Warning: I don’t do trigger warnings (yet).


Two days ago I confessed publicly in a post on this blog that I have recently committed a non-violent but otherwise highly illegal felony cyber crime in peaceful protest of a number of things, not the least of which is the fact that US President Donald Trump is a well-documented mysogynist. I am also protesting the fact that I’ve been fired twice in the past year for being autistic, a crime which appears to be perfectly acceptable for employers to commit now, thanks to the fact that Donald Trump is POTUS. Other than Trump himself, the link between these three facts can be found in the person of Victoria A. Lipnic, Donald Trump’s openly anti-Labor fox in the EEOC hen house, who actually gave a (bone-chilling) pep talk on Feb. 9, 2017 to her former colleagues at the offices of Seyfarth Shaw, LLP, the notoriously anti-Labor law firm where Ms. Lipnic used to work. One of those former colleagues was Frederick “Fritz” T. Smith, the Seyfarth Shaw attorney who represented the first company to fire me for being autistic (MetLife) in both of the EEOC charges that I wound up filing against that company in 2017. Needless to say, because MetLife had the anti-Labor loyalty of Ms. Lipnic throughout these proceedings, both EEOC charges were resolved in favor of MetLife, a process which my family experienced as so psychologically grueling, that I have actually been comparing it to a gang rape.

Hello Ms. Lipnic,


Victoria A. Lipnic, President Donald Trump’s Acting EEOC Chair. Image Credit: EEOC webpage

What would you do if one day President Donald Trump grabbed your “pussy” (i.e. vagina)?

Yup, serious question.

[Note: If you’re not familiar with the infamous Access Hollywood hot mic recording in which a 2005 pre-Presidential Donald Trump blathered on about his misogynistic code of personal ethics — he actually boasted about hand raping women (i.e. “grab’em by the pussy”) — you can watch it on YouTube here.]

Would you puke? Scream for help? Would you punch him in the testicles?

Would you feel flattered?

I know, I know, but based on what the President is heard saying in the recording, whenever he grabs a woman by her private parts, it means he thinks she is “beautiful”. We might wonder if across the globe female foreign ambassadors have been trained now to receive this gesture as a compliment, and not merely a sex crime — “…listen, you look nice today, so if he grabs you down there, don’t scream or punch him in the testicles. Just smile and feel appreciated….”

I know, I know, believe me, I do get it. This question I’m asking you probably seems really bizarre, but just how bizarre is it really?

Is it, for example, more bizarre than the fact that we actually gave this shameless woman-hater the keys to the Oval Office and armed him with nuclear weapons and the world’s most powerful military force?

Is it more bizarre than the fact that we don’t boot him to the curb immediately?

Is it more bizarre than the fact that every voting age citizen of the USA isn’t now sitting in a prison cell in (non-violent) protest of Trump’s Presidency and in virtuous fulfillment of Thoreau’s Civil Disobedience Axiom?[1]

I don’t think so.

In fact, I think that precisely because we made this crazy man our President, because we allow him to remain President, because we are not now each of us sitting civilly-disobediently in a prison cell in (non-violent) protest of his Presidency that we are now burdened with the awkward fact that we live in a surrealistic nightmare where this apparently bizarre question I’m asking you is actually not so bizarre after all. Here it is again:

“What would you do if one day President Donald Trump grabbed your pussy”?

Serious question, Ms. Lipnic. What would you do?

Not To Steal, But To Help Make More Thunder: My Pledge To Every Rape Victim

Dear Rape Victim,

Although as a child I did endure my share of sexual abuse by adults — the worst of which was when I got my genitals groped by a grown man who had hired me to sweep the floors of his costume shop after school (I was maybe eleven or twelve when it happened) — the truth is that I’ve never actually been raped in the way that you have been.

Recently however I have been writing and talking a great deal about having been “gang raped” last year, always taking care to clarify that I am using this term only as a metaphor for what actually happened — in fact a lengthy series of events which may actually have begun as far back as August, 2016 and which may indeed still be occurring even today, although I have summarized what might be considered the most critical events in a nine part Open Letter to A Certain EEOC Deputy District Director. I invite you to read that post if you feel the inclination to do so.

But the gist of it all is that I believe that it can be proven to a jury that roughly a dozen employees of the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company (“MetLife”), along with a partner at the law firm Seyfarth Shaw, LLP, and at least 3 employees of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), violated at least one particular Federal Statute falling within the Investigative Jurisdiction of the FBI, thus abruptly transforming me into the victim of that violation.

Known as “Title 18 U.S. Code Section 241 — Conspiracy against rights“, this law empowers a sentencing authority to impose a maximum prison sentence of 10 years and/or a maximum fine of $10,000.00 in the event that any “two or more persons conspire to injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate any person in any State, Territory, Commonwealth, Possession, or District in the free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured to him by the Constitution or laws of the United States, or because of his having so exercised the same.”

Now, in my opinion, rape is a terrible metaphor in general, and really one should never, ever compare anything else to rape, unless that thing is actually an example of real rape. So, for example, I do think it’s entirely reasonable to view what that grown man did to my youthful private parts as a kind of rape — maybe “hand rape”; I think the phrase “rape of Nanjing” is reasonable, by virtue of the fact that so many women residents of the province got raped by invading Japanese soldiers; and I think the phrase “date rape” is reasonable, because, again, it is referring to a genuine rape.

But it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if you or anyone else were to object to my own recent decision to use gang rape as a metaphor for what I endured as a result of the aforementioned Conspiracy against rights violation. I would completely understand if you were to find the comparison far too weak to fall into the domain of any sort of reasonable use of rape as a point of comparison. If you were to think that I was “being ridiculous”, or “out of line”, or “over the top”, or “blowing things out of proportion”, or “being a drama queen”, or in any way exaggerating at all, I must admit that I couldn’t fault you for doing so.

Especially if you were to suspect me of trying to manipulate the sympathies of others, or of trying to “steal thunder”, so to speak, from the survivors of real rape; I could never blame you or anyone for thinking like that.

But as much as I could understand why you would feel pretty much the same skepticism toward this decision that I myself felt up until just recently, I wish nonetheless to beg your pardon while I try to explain here that I have managed to completely satisfy my own skepticism, at least, and in particular to reassure you that manipulating sympathy is absolutely not my intention.

To be clear: it is not sympathy that I am asking for here, but rather what I am offering to you. I’m not asking for your validation of my rape ordeal, but rather I am offering you my own validation of yours. I am truly sorry that it took getting raped (so to speak) myself to realize just how serious rape actually is — and also how awfully commonplace it is, and normal and casually disregarded by all of the people who have somehow never been raped themselves.

Basically, I wish to inform you that whether you want it or not, whether you need it or not, nevertheless I am here for you. I have your back. I’m on your team. I hereby pledge my allegiance to your safety and well-being, and to the safety and well-being of everyone you love. I see myself as your friend, your ally, and believe it or not even your student. I wish to learn from you, if I am able. And if you will allow me to do so, I wish to try and help you, however I can, and in any way you think you need.

If you don’t already, please know that you are not alone — nope, not if I can help it. Sister, brother, whoever you may be, I’m pretty sure I get it now. Sorry it took me so long, but here I am, better late than never, I hope.

I am utterly at your service.


The Walrus

Why We Should Not Do #HeToo This Week

No_he_too_movementIn response to Anthony Rapp’s public allegation that Kevin Spacey tried to seduce him when he was just 14-years old, I thought I would warn my fellow male sex-abuse survivors that this is probably not the time for a #HeToo movement, which will almost certainly be perceived by many as another version of #AllLivesMatter.

In an earlier post I tried to explain that #MeToo was only superficially about sex-abuse, and profoundly about the fact that most of the world’s people view girls and women as being somehow not quite as human as boys and men, a problem that really is vastly more pervasive and consequential than the (also serious) problem of sex abuse, which is in many ways a symptom of the problem of the ancient, pandemic tendency to view and treat girls and women as merely human-ish.

Yes, yes, of course the boy victims of sexual abuse matter too, but that is not what many are going to think when they start seeing #HeToo. Most likely, many will misunderstand what #HeToo is really about (the sexual abuse of boys by grown men or women) and instead see it as yet another example of men trying to upstage women and make it all about the testicles. A #HeToo movement at this point would likely be a lot more confusing than useful, and needlessly expose male sex abuse survivors to the risk of unnecessary privilege-shaming on the part of those who really understand what #MeToo was all about.

So, even though I too was sexually abused as a child, and not just by men, for the record I will not participate in any sort of #HeToo movement.

Not Me After All: #MeToo, Aspiesplained

So, this #MeToo campaign is worse than I realized. Not only is it totally unscientific, it’s actually only superficially about sexual abuse, a fact which was totally obscure to me until about an hour ago — and probably not just because I’m autistic. No, I think a great many neurotypicals are totally confused about this too, especially all of the male sex-abuse victims who, like me, have been foolishly chiming in their own #MeToos in a pathetic attempt to participate in a movement that is really just a woman thing (or so I’ve been given to understand).

Therefore, I hereby retract what I wrote in my previous post on this topic, thus: not me after all — even though, yes, I was sexually abused as a child, on several occasions, and I’ll add here that at least two of my abusers were female; but I understand now that my own experiences as a victim of sexual abuse, as regards the #MeToo campaign, are “irrelevant” (was the word used by one of the FaceBook friends who schooled me on the subject earlier this evening), and again, because the campaign is only superficially about sexual abuse.

To clarify: what the #MeToo campaign is really about — as I have come to understand it now — is the ancient,  globally-wide and cross-culturally practiced subjugation of women by men, a phenomenon which goes way beyond sexual abuse, per se, and really touches every aspect of a woman’s day to day existence, even if she manages to make it through her life without being sexually abused in some way.

And for the record, I wholeheartedly agree that the general and more pervasive problem of female subjugation by males is a much more serious and consequential problem than that of sexual abuse, which I think is mostly just one of the many (but perhaps most serious) consequences of the more general issue. Also, I agree that my own experiences as a victim of sexual abuse are indeed quite irrelevant to that larger issue. That is not to say that they are totally irrelevant, of course, just largely irrelevant to that particular and ultimately much more consequential problem.

Be that as it may, I stand by my original observation that this #MeToo campaign is totally unscientific and therefore most likely to backfire and make things even worse. For example, it will probably just confuse a lot of people, as it did me, perhaps misleading them into thinking that it’s all just about sexual abuse, which is really not just a woman thing, any more than HIV is just a gay thing, or drug addiction a black thing. That sort of needless confusion will suck attention and other resources away from the real problem at hand, essentially wasting them.

But of course I hope I’m wrong about that.