White Men Go To Jail Sometimes Too, Don’t They?

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Image Credit: Shutterstock

It’s been a week since I publicly confessed to stealing a laptop computer in protest of what’s actually the second time in the past year or so that a company has fired me illegally for being autistic. Here I wish to confess my astonishment at the fact that I haven’t been arrested yet.

Folks, what the hell is going on? I’m pretty sure this is a felony I’ve committed here — a cyber crime. Heck, it might even be an act of “lone wolf terrorism” for crying out loud! Isn’t somebody going to waterboard me?

Yes, yes, I’m a white man, of course, but still — surely at least some white people go to jail, don’t they? What about — what’s that one guy’s name? Who was that?…he was white, for sure. Dang…what was his name?

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Anthony Hopkins as the fictional character Hannibal Lecter in the film Silence of the Lambs. Image Credit: MGM Pictures

Oh, right — Hannibal Lecter! There, see? Sometimes white people do go to jail. But of course that guy ate people. Must I actually eat someone in order to be held accountable for my actions? Would my victim also have to be white? Can I at least use a condiment — perhaps some honey mustard?

What if I just chewed for a while on some of the guy’s toenail clippings, would that count?

Just spittballin’ here…

Anyway, keep in mind please that the computer in question also happens to be loaded with all kinds of customer data that is protected by law — Social Security Numbers, etc. My newly ex-employer cannot just go around letting people access this data willy nilly. And yet, at this very moment I can both willy and nilly all I want with this data. I could go into it right now if I wanted to, look at the data, run my fingers over it, cover it in whipped cream. Sexy, sexy, data! Ooh, baby, yum!

sexy_mouth_strawberry_cream_315x210Heck, I could have your own birthday and Social Security Number on there, by which I mean you, yes you — the particular she or he reading these words right now, whoever you may be. My ex-employer’s database is enormous. Heck, I’m pretty sure Elvis is in there somewhere. I might have Elvis Presley’s Social Security Number on this damn laptop.  And if I have Elvis’s data, why not yours too? In principle at least I could use this data to steal your identity. I could go out and get a fake passport, birth certificate, credit cards etc. with your name on them and run around the country committing all manner of mischief in your name. Oh, the nasty numerologizing I could do to your Social Security Number — if I were so inclined (which I am not, lucky for you).

But that’s the least of it really, because this company’s database is so freaking huge — I mean we’re talking a sizable fraction of a billion customers are in this thing — that it just so happens to have the names, birthdays, and Social Security Numbers of all of the individuals who conspired to get me fired from MetLife last year, which is to say the first time in the past year or so that a company has illegally fired me for being autistic.

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Another example of a white man who went to prison.

How’s that for irony? First these people fire me illegally, and then somehow I get lucky and find a job working with a database that is so huge that it actually contains their own protected data!

But for me, really the most deliciously ironic part of this irony is that I’m actually in possession of this data for for the very man who organized and led the charge on that event, which, by the way, was such a coercive ordeal for my family and me that I now feel entitled to refer to it all as a form of gang rape, even though nobody ever touched me physically, and indeed it all mostly happened via Email.

That’s right, I now have the Social Security Number (birthday, etc.) of Seyfarth Shaw Partner Frederick “Fritz” T. Smith (pictured, right) — a.k.a. “Batman“, a.k.a. a man who raped me (yeah, yeah, “so to speak”).

But it’s been a week since I confessed all of this, and I’m still walking around free. Shouldn’t I be in jail by now? Is White Privilege really that powerful?

 

Seal of the EEOC

I Confess! — Another Open Letter To Victoria A. Lipnic, President Trump’s Fox-in-Hen-House Acting Chair Of The EEOC

Trigger Warning: I don’t do trigger warnings (yet).

Hello Ms. Lipnic,

Victoria_A_Lipnic

Image Credit: EEOC webpage

While you are pondering yesterday’s only-seemingly-bizarre question, (“What would you do if President Trump grabbed your ‘pussy’?“) I would like to take this opportunity to confess to you publicly that I have recently committed a (non-violent) felony cyber crime in peaceful protest of, well, pretty much everything a sane person would protest nowadays, but especially the following somewhat exhausting but certainly not exhaustive list:

  1. That a bumbling, deceitful, childish, impulsive, pathologically ignorant misogynist like Donald Trump is my President, and thereby armed to the teeth with nuclear weapons and the world’s most powerful armed forces.
  2. That President Trump promoted you in January 2017 from your 2010-Obama-appointed bipartisan role as one of several EEOC Commissioners to your current fox-in-hen-house position as Acting Chair (boss) of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). In case you seriously don’t realize it, you are a fox in the EEOC hen house because you used to work for Seyfarth Shaw, LLP, one of the top anti-Labor law firms in the world, and you are in fact still so chummy with your former Seyfarth Shaw colleagues that they actually call you “Vicki”. Also, by your own admission you have long believed and stated that you see your organization as the “underscore employment opportunity Commission”, suggesting that the notion of Equality will be thrown under the bus if necessary to further Trump’s agenda of creating jobs for the Country’s white men so that they can feed their livestock, servants, children, and wives.
  3. That you gave a private pep rally[1] to your former Seyfarth Shaw colleagues on Feb. 9, 2017 to assure them all that thanks to your new and powerful role at the EEOC it was going to become much easier for them to defend an employer’s freedom to exploit, abuse, and illegally fire their underprivileged but otherwise qualified employees.
  4. That one of your former Seyfarth Shaw colleagues — Frederick “Fritz” T. Smith — appears to have been so emboldened by your Feb. 9th pep rally, that in retaliation for the two EEOC charges I filed in 2017 against his client and my former employer MetLife, Mr. Smith subsequently felt entitled to plan and inflict upon me and my family an ordeal that was so psychologically grueling that now I feel subsequently entitled, in the first place, to describe it as a form of gang rape, and second, to commit the aforementioned non-violent yet highly illegal felony cyber crime to protest this gang rape, along with everything else I’m protesting, including…
  5. That because Donald Trump is now our Man-Child-in-Chief, and because he promoted you to your fox-in-hen-house role as Acting Chair of the EEOC, I have been fired illegally twice this past year for being autistic, and without any legal and effective means of redress.
  6. That the first time I got fired in the past year for being autistic, the company (MetLife) had the nerve to allege to the EEOC that I had been fired for “inappropriate behavior” — a lie which Donald Trump’s “Grab’em by the Pussy” Administration has rendered completely obsolete and utterly impossible to tell anymore with a straight face [ironically, the Trump Administration’s total abolition of the archaic, arbitrary, and ethnocentric notion of “appropriate behavior” is really the only good thing that Trump has done for the USA].
  7. That the second time I got fired for being autistic this year, the company[2] had the nerve to allege in writing that they were firing me because they were going “…in a different direction with the role going forward” — another completely obsolete lie that no employer should ever use again (especially if they really do need to go in a different direction with a given role, so as not to aide and abet illegal firings by providing cover for them).
  8. That because I have no legal and effective means of redress for all of these items (not to mention everything else I’m protesting and which is not listed here), I am forced now by my conscience to risk the possibility of imprisonment and a criminal record in order to protest these items.

With respect to that last item (8): In other words, I’m committing this civilly disobedient felony in part to protest the fact that I must actually resort to committing a civilly disobedient felony in order to protest that I must actually resort to committing a civilly disobedient felony in order to protest…etc., etc., ad infinitum. Yes, yes, I know, right? That infinite regress certainly does seem bizarre, doesn’t it? But it is not really bizarre when you think it through, and for the same reasons that the Trump Administration has made it perfectly not bizarre for me to ask the President’s Acting Chair of the EEOC what she would do if the President of the United States of America grabbed her pussy.


[1] In the following bone-chilling video, watch how often her former Seyfarth Shaw colleagues refer chummily to Ms. Lipnic as “Vicki”. Also, at about minute 9, Ms. Lipnic explains her nightmarish vision of her organization as the “underscore employment opportunity” Commission, strongly suggesting that going forward the whole Equality thing was more a decoration than anything truly functional. This meeting was nothing less than a pep rally she gave her former Seyfarth Shaw colleagues to assure them that it was going to become much easier for them going forward to defend an employer’s freedom to exploit, abuse, and illegally fire their underprivileged but otherwise qualified employees.

[2] I have not yet revealed the name of my most recent ex-employer, but for reasons that are becoming untenable by the day.

Seal of the EEOC

What Would You Do If President Trump Grabbed Your ‘Pussy’? — A Serious Question For Victoria A. Lipnic, Trump’s Acting Chair Of The EEOC

Trigger Warning: I don’t do trigger warnings (yet).

Background

Two days ago I confessed publicly in a post on this blog that I have recently committed a non-violent but otherwise highly illegal felony cyber crime in peaceful protest of a number of things, not the least of which is the fact that US President Donald Trump is a well-documented mysogynist. I am also protesting the fact that I’ve been fired twice in the past year for being autistic, a crime which appears to be perfectly acceptable for employers to commit now, thanks to the fact that Donald Trump is POTUS. Other than Trump himself, the link between these three facts can be found in the person of Victoria A. Lipnic, Donald Trump’s openly anti-Labor fox in the EEOC hen house, who actually gave a (bone-chilling) pep talk on Feb. 9, 2017 to her former colleagues at the offices of Seyfarth Shaw, LLP, the notoriously anti-Labor law firm where Ms. Lipnic used to work. One of those former colleagues was Frederick “Fritz” T. Smith, the Seyfarth Shaw attorney who represented the first company to fire me for being autistic (MetLife) in both of the EEOC charges that I wound up filing against that company in 2017. Needless to say, because MetLife had the anti-Labor loyalty of Ms. Lipnic throughout these proceedings, both EEOC charges were resolved in favor of MetLife, a process which my family experienced as so psychologically grueling, that I have actually been comparing it to a gang rape.

Hello Ms. Lipnic,

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Victoria A. Lipnic, President Donald Trump’s Acting EEOC Chair. Image Credit: EEOC webpage

What would you do if one day President Donald Trump grabbed your “pussy” (i.e. vagina)?

Yup, serious question.

[Note: If you’re not familiar with the infamous Access Hollywood hot mic recording in which a 2005 pre-Presidential Donald Trump blathered on about his misogynistic code of personal ethics — he actually boasted about hand raping women (i.e. “grab’em by the pussy”) — you can watch it on YouTube here.]

Would you puke? Scream for help? Would you punch him in the testicles?

Would you feel flattered?

I know, I know, but based on what the President is heard saying in the recording, whenever he grabs a woman by her private parts, it means he thinks she is “beautiful”. We might wonder if across the globe female foreign ambassadors have been trained now to receive this gesture as a compliment, and not merely a sex crime — “…listen, you look nice today, so if he grabs you down there, don’t scream or punch him in the testicles. Just smile and feel appreciated….”

I know, I know, believe me, I do get it. This question I’m asking you probably seems really bizarre, but just how bizarre is it really?

Is it, for example, more bizarre than the fact that we actually gave this shameless woman-hater the keys to the Oval Office and armed him with nuclear weapons and the world’s most powerful military force?

Is it more bizarre than the fact that we don’t boot him to the curb immediately?

Is it more bizarre than the fact that every voting age citizen of the USA isn’t now sitting in a prison cell in (non-violent) protest of Trump’s Presidency and in virtuous fulfillment of Thoreau’s Civil Disobedience Axiom?[1]

I don’t think so.

In fact, I think that precisely because we made this crazy man our President, because we allow him to remain President, because we are not now each of us sitting civilly-disobediently in a prison cell in (non-violent) protest of his Presidency that we are now burdened with the awkward fact that we live in a surrealistic nightmare where this apparently bizarre question I’m asking you is actually not so bizarre after all. Here it is again:

“What would you do if one day President Donald Trump grabbed your pussy”?

Serious question, Ms. Lipnic. What would you do?

Thoreau’s Civil Disobedience Axiom: Why I Am Willing To Go To Prison To Defend The US Constitution

Henry_David_Thoreau_210x259“Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison” — Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849

Yesterday I confessed in public to (non-violently) stealing a laptop from a company that just fired me because I’m autistic. This laptop contains protected customer information (e.g. Social Security Numbers) of a great many of my ex-employer’s valued customers, several of whom happen purely by chance to be the same individuals that gang raped me last year (the database is huge, so it’s actually not that strange a coincidence).

(Surprise, surprise, motherfuckers! Betcha didn’t see that one coming.)

Oh, relax — they’re the criminals, not me. I’m actually the last person who would cause any mischief to these people with that data. Yes, I have the data and the laptop, but both are very, very safe, and simply possessing it is all I will ever actually do with it. I’m autistic, for crying out loud, and I take data security seriously in a way only an autistic person could do so. But here’s the thing: I’m not allowed even to possess this data. That’s what you call a cyber crime! That is illegal! I’m an outlaw right now, as we speak! Quick! Somebody report me to the FBI! (Click this link to go to the FBI Submit a Tip page.)

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m doing this. Well, let’s start with this:

In my opinion, President Donald Trump is an unmitigated asshole who should have bowed out of the 2016 Presidential race the moment the whole world heard that Access Hollywood hot mic recording of him saying “grab’em by the pussy”. This misogynistic hate speech is everything that any of us needs in order to be done with him as a President. Every day that this deranged, self-entitled hand-rapist remains in the Oval Office, “We the People” of the United States of America insult every girl child on Earth — all of our daughters, sisters, cousins, and future mothers, aunts, and grandmothers — and menace them with a lifetime of abuse ranging from casual disregard to sexual slavery.

That right there is all the reason any of us needs to start (non-violently) refusing to cooperate with the US Government until we redeem ourselves by ousting him — immediately. Donald Trump’s documented misogyny is sufficient reason right there for me to keep this laptop and its data (again, non-violently).

[Disclaimer: To be clear, I abhor violence and am vehemently opposed to any sort of violent behavior, and am advocating here for a strictly non-violent, totally naked-faced (no masks, please) sort of non-cooperation with the Trump regime — a la Thoreau, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, etc. Organizations like Antifa and ISIS are evil, to my view — just mindless and dangerous rage junkies looking for a way to catch a good buzz. The only “weapon”, so to speak, I will ever use is my sense of humor.]

Now, you may be wondering at this point what any of that has to do with the “so to speak” rape I endured last year. The answer is everything. The only reason it happened is because the lawyer who organized it works for the same famously anti-labor law firm that Trump’s current acting EEOC Chair Victoria A. Lipnic used to work for: Seyfarth Shaw, LLP. On February 9, 2017, Ms. Lipnic actually gave a pep rally (see YouTube video shown below) to all of Seyfarth Shaw, during which (see min 9:00 in the video) she suggested to all of her former colleagues that now that she’s in charge, the whole notion of Equality would be tossed under the bus whenever it was necessary to do so to carry out Trump’s racist, misogynist, anti-labor policies. The upshot here is that I got raped (“so to speak”) last year as a direct result of Trump’s hatred toward anybody who isn’t a rich, white, male willing to obey Trump’s every infantile whim.

In fact, the real question on the table here is not why I am willing to go to prison to (again, non-violently!) defend our Constitution, but why aren’t you?

Walrus Revealed!

Today, and for the first time on this blog, I am going to reveal my secret identity. For the sake of consistency I might still use “The Walrus” as a nom-de-plume, but going forward it won’t be a secret anymore. But I do wish to explain why I am doing this, so let’s start with the following background:

A few weeks back I chose to publicly expose the identity of the man who both organized and took the lead in the gang rape I endured last year. A Partner at the notorious anti-labor law firm of Seyfarth Shaw, LLP, the man’s real name is Frederick “Fritz” T. Smith, though before I published his name I had been referring to him on this blog as ‘Batman’ (for reasons that seemed much more important then than they do now).

In the event that you have never been raped yourself, or perhaps just haven’t thought or talked or read enough about rape to really understand what it means to get raped, and also in the interest of full disclosure and transparency, I see it as my civic duty to inform you here that when I say that I was gang raped last year by Frederick “Fritz” T. Smith along with roughly a dozen of my former colleagues at the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company (MetLife), and at least 3 employees of Donald Trump’s so-called “Equal” Employment Opportunity Commission, themselves working under the protective “leadership” of Victoria A. Lipnic, current Acting Chair of the “E”EOC, who not only used to work at SeyFarth Shaw, LLP, like Frederick “Fritz” T. Smith still does today, but who in fact held a pep rally at the offices of Seyfarth Shaw on Feb. 9, 2017, where she reassured Mr. Smith and the rest of her former colleagues that going forward the “E”EOC was going to sidebar “Equality” in favor of “Employment Opportunity” (Ms. Lipnic has stated publicly that she views the “E”EOC as the (merely) “EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY” Commission, suggesting that although the whole equality thing won’t be forgotten, it will surely be thrown under the bus whenever necessary in order to make sure all the able bodied, neurologically normal white men in the USA have jobs so that they can feed their livestock (cats, dogs, horses, goats, wives, mistresses, girlfriends, and kids) — when I say all of that — I am in fact using gang rape as a metaphor for what I actually endured, which is that my rapists conspired to deprive me of my legal rights as a disabled person (I’m autistic), and as guaranteed by the American’s With Disabilities Act, which is supposed to be enforced by the EEOC, but which almost always is not because most complaints are simply dismissed and returned to the plaintiff with a so-called “Right to sue” letter, which would be more aptly called a “Right to go bankrupt in an expensive court battle, unless the perpetrators were dumb enough to leave sufficient evidence of their criminal behavior” letter.

However, I cannot stress enough that for my part — when viewed from my own subjective perspective — this admittedly real distinction between getting literally gang raped, say, in the traditional prison-shower sense of the word and getting gang raped in some figurative sense is simply not that important. Again, not that important to me — the guy that got raped. Believe me, I do understand that you almost certainly disagree with me on this point, for now at least. And it’s not like I think it makes no difference at all. Clearly it does, if for no other reason than that getting gang raped in a literal, prison-shower sense is also physically dangerous, and indeed I am grateful that my physical body did not need medical attention or to heal afterwards, but at the end of the day rape of any kind — literal, figurative, etc. — is first and foremost a psychological trauma. What these folks put me through (and my family as well, indirectly) was nothing short of a cruel mind-fuck of an experience.

But all of that is a far, far too complicated way to say that which is best put most simply in terms of gang rape — yeah, sure, “in a figurative” sense if it makes you feel better, but just know that it doesn’t do anything for me — you know, the guy who got raped.

Or “thinks he got raped”, whatever.

So, that’s the background. Now, let’s return to the real point of this post, which is basically to simplify my life by telling the Truth about who I am. As you may know, I recently launched a totally new spinnoff project called The Diversity Acceptance Project. One of the basic principles of that project is the idea that when we do what I’m calling (for now) Diversity Acceptance Consulting, we re-purpose or upcycle everything we believe to be somehow broken or wrong about ourselves into a credential for doing our work as Diversity Acceptance Consultants. For example, although I plan to specialize in autism awareness, understanding, and acceptance, I have quite a few other things wrong with me that I want to use for this work as well. Psoriasis is one example (others could be given), but in particular I’d like to make use of the above mentioned gang rape experience in order to raise awareness, understanding, and acceptance of rape survivors. This means that if I want to write about that experience on the blog at diversityacceptanceproject.org I have to figure out some way to do so without revealing my secret identity, and I find I’ve been wasting too much time recently in an effort to figure that out.

So this is me throwing caution to the wind:

My real name is Daniel L. Scholten, and this is what I look like on a good day:

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Daniel L. Scholten, a.k.a. “The Walrus”

 

 

 

Towards A Survivor-Centric View of Rape: Part 3

For part 2, see Towards A Survivor-Centric View of Rape: Part 2

“I don’t know. Rape is complicated. There’s a lot of grey area. Maybe the woman was too provocative. Maybe the guy didn’t realize she didn’t want to have sex with him. Are we sure it wasn’t just bad sex? Bad sex isn’t rape.”

Those are all valid points, provided you’ve never actually been raped. Once you’ve been raped, all of that looks like some sort of trick or smoke screen designed by rapists and exploited to keep themselves from getting caught. It’s as if the rapists of the world all got together and said,

Hey, we got a great thing going on here, but our victims are starting to accumulate, and if they start becoming aware of each other and talking to each other, they might organize and prevent us from raping them. We need a way to keep them under control and contain them — to keep them from talking to each other and to isolate them from everybody who cares about them and who might help them. We need a good “divide and conquer” strategy.

Ok, how about this: We’ll float a rumor that rape is “complicated”, that there’s a lot of “grey area”, etc. We’ll point out that women can be provocative — no wait! — make that too provocative, yeah, that’s good. They’re so provocative those women. And we can also exploit the fact that women are afraid of us, and especially afraid of getting beat up for refusing sex, and therefore often exploit the tactic of pretending to enjoy it so that they don’t get beat up or worse. Oh, and we should play up the bad sex angle. Everybody knows most dudes are just terrible in the sack….

One tragic and widely underappreciated consequence of rape is that (remember we’re focusing on the survivor here) getting raped instantly splits the entire world — which is to say every man, woman, and child — into two camps: friends and enemies. And the test to distinguish between members of these two camps is simple: for the survivor, a friend is anybody who gives her or him the benefit of the doubt — who simply assumes the victim is being honest, or perhaps “takes it on faith”, about the fact of the rape as well as its traumatic nature.

And everybody who doesn’t do that is either a rapist, or an accomplice (unwitting or otherwise), and therefore an enemy.

“Oh, now that’s just ridiculous. Now you’re saying that I become an accomplice to rape whenever I show a little healthy skepticism?

When your skepticism can be exploited by a rapist to hide and remain free to rape again then it’s not “healthy” skepticism.

Listen, I realize that you don’t actually want to be such an accomplice. In fact, it’s precisely because I’m pretty sure that  you don’t want to be some rapist’s accomplice that I’m trying to explain all of this to you. But if you really, really don’t want to help rapists get away with their crimes, then you must be sure to give the benefit of the doubt to anyone claiming to have been raped.

Unless you’ve been raped yourself, and unfortunately even if you have been raped, you may believe quite strongly and yet erroneously in what we might call the Myth of the Middle Ground. The idea here is that somewhere between a rapist and his or her victim is assumed to exist a kind of “No Man’s Land” where everybody else can stand while they ponder the evidence and try to figure out what really happened.

But from the perspective of the one who got raped, this is pure bullshit. From her point of view, there is simply no way to deprive her of the benefit of the doubt without simultaneously handing it over to her rapist. As the rape survivor sees it, there is no middle ground. It’s as if by raping her, the rapist captured the whole middle ground for himself. He captured its downtown, it’s uptown, its parks, its museums, and its shopping malls. By default, this renders virtually indistinguishable from an actual accomplice anyone who seriously tries to hold some position on that non-existent “middle ground”.

 

Not To Steal, But To Help Make More Thunder: My Pledge To Every Rape Victim

Dear Rape Victim,

Although as a child I did endure my share of sexual abuse by adults — the worst of which was when I got my genitals groped by a grown man who had hired me to sweep the floors of his costume shop after school (I was maybe eleven or twelve when it happened) — the truth is that I’ve never actually been raped in the way that you have been.

Recently however I have been writing and talking a great deal about having been “gang raped” last year, always taking care to clarify that I am using this term only as a metaphor for what actually happened — in fact a lengthy series of events which may actually have begun as far back as August, 2016 and which may indeed still be occurring even today, although I have summarized what might be considered the most critical events in a nine part Open Letter to A Certain EEOC Deputy District Director. I invite you to read that post if you feel the inclination to do so.

But the gist of it all is that I believe that it can be proven to a jury that roughly a dozen employees of the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company (“MetLife”), along with a partner at the law firm Seyfarth Shaw, LLP, and at least 3 employees of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), violated at least one particular Federal Statute falling within the Investigative Jurisdiction of the FBI, thus abruptly transforming me into the victim of that violation.

Known as “Title 18 U.S. Code Section 241 — Conspiracy against rights“, this law empowers a sentencing authority to impose a maximum prison sentence of 10 years and/or a maximum fine of $10,000.00 in the event that any “two or more persons conspire to injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate any person in any State, Territory, Commonwealth, Possession, or District in the free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured to him by the Constitution or laws of the United States, or because of his having so exercised the same.”

Now, in my opinion, rape is a terrible metaphor in general, and really one should never, ever compare anything else to rape, unless that thing is actually an example of real rape. So, for example, I do think it’s entirely reasonable to view what that grown man did to my youthful private parts as a kind of rape — maybe “hand rape”; I think the phrase “rape of Nanjing” is reasonable, by virtue of the fact that so many women residents of the province got raped by invading Japanese soldiers; and I think the phrase “date rape” is reasonable, because, again, it is referring to a genuine rape.

But it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if you or anyone else were to object to my own recent decision to use gang rape as a metaphor for what I endured as a result of the aforementioned Conspiracy against rights violation. I would completely understand if you were to find the comparison far too weak to fall into the domain of any sort of reasonable use of rape as a point of comparison. If you were to think that I was “being ridiculous”, or “out of line”, or “over the top”, or “blowing things out of proportion”, or “being a drama queen”, or in any way exaggerating at all, I must admit that I couldn’t fault you for doing so.

Especially if you were to suspect me of trying to manipulate the sympathies of others, or of trying to “steal thunder”, so to speak, from the survivors of real rape; I could never blame you or anyone for thinking like that.

But as much as I could understand why you would feel pretty much the same skepticism toward this decision that I myself felt up until just recently, I wish nonetheless to beg your pardon while I try to explain here that I have managed to completely satisfy my own skepticism, at least, and in particular to reassure you that manipulating sympathy is absolutely not my intention.

To be clear: it is not sympathy that I am asking for here, but rather what I am offering to you. I’m not asking for your validation of my rape ordeal, but rather I am offering you my own validation of yours. I am truly sorry that it took getting raped (so to speak) myself to realize just how serious rape actually is — and also how awfully commonplace it is, and normal and casually disregarded by all of the people who have somehow never been raped themselves.

Basically, I wish to inform you that whether you want it or not, whether you need it or not, nevertheless I am here for you. I have your back. I’m on your team. I hereby pledge my allegiance to your safety and well-being, and to the safety and well-being of everyone you love. I see myself as your friend, your ally, and believe it or not even your student. I wish to learn from you, if I am able. And if you will allow me to do so, I wish to try and help you, however I can, and in any way you think you need.

If you don’t already, please know that you are not alone — nope, not if I can help it. Sister, brother, whoever you may be, I’m pretty sure I get it now. Sorry it took me so long, but here I am, better late than never, I hope.

I am utterly at your service.

Sincerely,

The Walrus