Please, Sir, Don’t Be a Coward! — An Egregiously Unlawful Open Letter to My Fourth Alleged ‘Victim’, MetLife Exec Geoff Lang

Dear Mr. Lang,

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Don’t be frightened, Mr. Hare, I just want us to be friends! Image Credit: Pixabay

First, I wish to explain here why I feel absolutely no shame, remorse, guilt, or regret for allegedly frightening you and at least three other MetLife employees on June 14 when I took my quiet and polite stroll through the buildings of the MetLife, GTO campus in Cary, NC.

To be clear: I don’t use allegedly here out of any suspicion that you and the others may only be pretending to feel fear. On the contrary, I find wholly credible these words from your own sworn affidavit, for example, which was submitted to the Wake County District Court at the end of June in support of MetLife’s request for a No Contact Order against me:

“…this post[1], coupled with the fact that Mr. Scholten broke into MetLife and came specifically to the executive offices, cause me to fear for my safety…”

Especially after watching the moving testimony of the three others who found the courage to face me in Court last week, I am quite certain that the fear is real for all of you, for which you have my sincere sympathy, empathy, and compassion. Furthermore, I can only feel admiration for the three who had the guts, despite their fear, to sit not 10 feet from me in the courtroom, even though I wore no cuffs nor chains nor muzzle to restrain me (I would have, and with great panache, but no one thought to ask me).

No, it’s not the fear itself that I find suspicious, but the idea that it was somehow caused by me, which is why it’s difficult for me to feel any guilt, remorse, etc. regarding your anxieties. You see, I happen to know as a matter of fact that I am physically harmless to all human beings, including all who work for MetLife, including the four of you. And because I know this all as a matter of fact about myself, I can only conclude that you cannot possibly be frightened of me, per se, which is to say, the real me, the human being I actually am, but rather you simply must be afraid of your own misunderstanding of me.

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I am not your misunderstanding of me. Image Credit: Pixabay

Mr. Lang, I am not your misunderstanding of me. Your misunderstanding of me is a figment of your own imagination. It is pure conjecture, a speculative bogeyman built from irrational neuronal activity sparking and echoing zealously within your own skull. Your misunderstanding of me is a frightening fantasy, a kind of waking nightmare you’ve been having, and one that is proving more and more consequential for me and my family — my children!

As you surely realize, by writing to you in this way I am now in direct violation of the useless and wholly unnecessary No Contact Order that was granted to MetLife last week by a Wake County District Judge, and if you don’t quickly find the courage to face your hysterical fear of your misunderstanding of me (and come to my defense), your cowardice will surely now result in my incarceration and a permanent criminal record.

I implore you, Mr. Lang, please don’t be a coward here. The juvenile inability to confront one’s own irrational fears is dangerous in a leader such as yourself. Please, good sir, I beg of you: dig deep, “grow a pair”, as they say, and manifest the courage you need in order to face what frightens you needlessly (your misunderstanding of me).

I can help you do this. I am willing to sit down with you at your earliest convenience and speak frankly with you, answer any questions you may have, help you prove to your own satisfaction that you are perfectly safe in my company. I want to help free you from the burden of your childish cowardice. I want to help you grow and develop into the morally mature and responsible adult you can surely become. No doubt you will be a better leader for it, and MetLife can only benefit as a company. For my part, you will also share in the admiration I feel for those three subordinates of yours who bravely accepted last week to be used by you in court as a human shield.

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Please, oh, please, won’t you grow a pair of these! Image Credit: Pixabay

You are afraid; I get that. But cowering behind your subordinates and a useless No Contact Order will only perpetuate your fear and delay the inevitable. You are a leader, sir, and a leader must have the courage to face his irrational fears. Well, I can assure you that your fear of your misunderstanding of me is as irrational as they come. That bogeyman of yours simply does not exist. The real me comes to you in peace and with an open hand extended in friendship toward you.

I sincerely hope that you can find the courage to accept it. If you do so, then you will get to know the real me, at least well enough to see that you need not fear me.

And if you do not, well, I’m pretty sure this letter will give the District Judge what she needs to lock me up for awhile. If she does that, then it is my sincere hope that the fact of my incarceration will help you find at least some relief from the burden of your own cowardice.

Otherwise, you may wish to look into entering the Federal Witness Protection Program. I don’t know if they’ll accept to protect you from figments of your own imagination, but you can always ask.

Hope that’s helpful!

Sincerely,

Daniel L. Scholten, a.k.a. “The Walrus”


[1] “this post” is a reference to the first open letter I wrote to Mr. Lang several weeks ago.

You Don’t Fear Me; You Fear Your Misunderstanding of Me: An Open Letter to All The Sheeple Who Imagine Me to Be Dangerous

#KeepFamiliesTogether

Note: If you would like to donate to help the 2,500 immigrant children that were recently kidnapped from their families as a result of the Trump Administration’s cruel Zero-Tolerance Immigration Policy (protested yesterday by thousands throughout the US), please see the links provided in the following article: Here’s how to help immigrant children separated from parents at U.S. border.

Dear Sheeple,

Everyone who actually knows the real me knows that I am nothing like a threat to your personal safety. I am 54 years old, have no history of violence, have no interest in violence, and own no guns nor weapons of any kind.

I don’t even play violent video games.

Because I know for a fact that I pose no threat to your personal safety, it simply cannot be the case that I am the cause of your fear. If indeed you are afraid of anything, then it is your misunderstanding of me that frightens you.

To be clear: I am not your misunderstanding of me. Your misunderstanding of me is an imaginary bogeyman who doesn’t exist. The person I really am is nothing to fear.

I have almost no control over your misunderstanding of me. Other than pity you, the most I can offer as consolation is the opportunity to get to know the real me. If you can find the courage to do so, then I’ll be happy to sit with you and talk, answer your questions, help you to see that you’ve been afraid of nothing.

Other than that, what can I say? You are on your own.

Sincerely,

Daniel L. Scholten, a.k.a. “The Walrus”

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I Hereby Dedicate My Next Incarceration to the 2500 Immigrant Children Victimized by Trump’s Cruel Zero-Tolerance Immigration Policy

So, I’ll be going to jail again soon…

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Soon, I’ll be doing this again, but in my mind I’m going to dedicate the experience to all the immigrant children who have been cruelly kidnapped from their parents by the Trump Administration and held in border detention centers.

I’m not sure when or on what grounds exactly, but apparently I really botched up on June 14, 2018 by strolling peacefully and politely throughout two of the office buildings on the MetLife campus in Cary, NC.

It might have been the hat I wore. MetLife has a dress code policy that prohibits the wearing of hats, and I had forgotten to remove mine after entering the buildings.

Lesson learned:

Always obey the rules of the MetLife dress code.

Joking aside, I’m now facing some serious misdemeanor Breaking or Entering charges which carry a maximum penalty of 3 months incarceration, and I have reason to believe that the rich and powerful white folks who are actually running things are going to take this opportunity to “teach me a lesson”, so to speak. I don’t think any of them even understand the first thing about Autism, let alone give a crap that I’m actually autistic, but maybe they’ll take into consideration the fact that I am also white and “pull their punches” a bit. Not that I’m seriously hoping to benefit in that way, but I may not have a choice. The sad truth is that white privilege makes everything easier, even crime.

My trial isn’t until August 7, but the rich and powerful white folks actually running things have made it incredibly easy for me to get locked up again before then. At this point I’m pretty sure all I have to do is forget to wash the dishes and back to jail I go. I’m pretty good about washing my dishes, but there are so many other rules I have to follow now. Two days ago a District Judge ordered me to give MetLife a copy of all the videographic footage I shot while touring harmlessly through the buildings. I have until 2:30 today to comply or I’ll be held in Contempt of Court and probably arrested immediately. Although I definitely plan to comply with the order, what if something happens to stop me? What if I get stuck in traffic on my way to their lawyer’s office? What if my daughter has a seizure and I have to spend the day with her in the hospital while she gets checked out? At the moment I’m trying to encrypt the file, and the process is taking forever.

Although a good excuse might earn me eventual forgiveness, that forgiveness would only come after I’d already been arrested, booked, and incarcerated for many, many boring hours.

I’m in a precarious situation right now. One way or another I’m going back to jail soon,  and so I want to try to make the most of it all by dedicating the experience to a worthy cause. In fact, I think I’ll go ahead and dedicate it to every worthy cause — every cause that a rational and morally mature person should support — but I’ll also pick a particular cause as well,

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Central Processing Station in McAllen, Texas. Center for Border Protection (CBP). Found here.

which is the 2500 kids who were recently kidnapped from their families and jailed in border detention centers as a result of the Trump Administration’s cruel Zero-Tolerance immigration policy.

Yes, of course, I realize that Trump has agreed to stop treating any more children in this Draconian fashion, and that 500 of the children have been thus far re-united with their families, but there are still some 2000 kids trapped in these detention centers and in any case, even those who have been reunited with their families were probably so traumatized by the experience that they are going to need lots of support to get over the trauma. All 2500 of them have been victimized by the Trump Administration, and I hereby dedicate my inevitable next incarceration to all of them, specifically; and of course their families too, who have all suffered unjustly; and most generally, I dedicate my inevitable next incarceration to all charitable causes that a rational and morally mature person should support.

Now, in order to make this dedication financially useful to the actual victims, I’m asking my readers here to consider making a contribution to one of the organizations dedicated to helping them. If you happen to have a favorite, then I encourage you to choose that one. And if you would like some suggestions, I invite you to consider those discussed in Here’s how to help immigrant children separated from parents at U.S. border.

I’m also open to any suggestions you’d like to share for good organizations to give to. Please leave their links in the comments below.

Thanks in advance!

 


Header Image Credit: By U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP Processing Unaccompanied Children) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Does MetLife Really Reject Autism, but Accept Man-on-Man Sodomy? — An Open Letter to MetLife Exec Geoffrey Lang

Trigger Warning

Although I do know the basic rules and make every effort to follow them, I should confess here that on occasion I’m not 100% certain that I use semi-colons correctly.

Hello Mr. Lang,

Back sometime before you all fired me illegally for being autistic last year, I remember reading an internal memo in which you publicly declared yourself to be an “ally” to MetLife’s LGBT community.

At the time I understood this gesture of yours to be a sincere and altruistic expression not just of your own humanitarian values, but in fact part of MetLife’s own more general Diversity & Inclusion efforts,

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Image Credit: MetLife blog

and in particular the company’s own public embrace[1] of the increasingly popular but by no means universally accepted idea that a person’s atypical sexual preference and/or gender identity should in no way prevent their being considered and treated as a legitimate human being worthy of the same dignity, respect, and human rights traditionally granted most readily here in the USA to straight white men and perhaps their luckier sycophants, idolaters, and imitators.

But then you all fired me for being autistic — a psychologically debilitating, emotional meat-grinder of an ordeal that was so very harsh on me and my family that I have actually described it as a form of gang rape — and now I don’t know what to think of your apparent “alliance” with LGBT people.

On the one hand, it seems to me at the very least that being such an ally must mean that you find it perfectly acceptable, say, for two grown men to engage in consensual sodomy (a.k.a. “butt-fucking”). Perhaps not during business meetings, of course, but certainly at home in the privacy of their own bedroom (see photo).

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If MetLife can accept the sort of behavior pictured here, then the company should find it easy to accept Autism. Image Credit: Icon Male

Although the acceptance of a male professional colleague’s fondness for “taking it up the ass” (see photo) is for sure just one aspect to your commitment as an LGBT ally, I figure at the very least it is an important one. Surely you’d be the most pathetic sort of ally if you conditioned your support and endorsement of consensual and mutually gratifying homo-eroticism on the promise that gay men stop poking their penises in and out of each others’ “poop-chutes” (see photo, again).

If I’m right about that and you really do think man-on-man sodomy is acceptable, and given that a hefty percentage of the World’s human beings believe fiercely to the contrary that such acts are highly unacceptable, then really you’d have to be petroleum jelly not to recognize the egregious hypocrisy of the decision you all made last year to fire me for being autistic.

Yes, yes, I know. That is not the narrative you want everyone to believe. You want the world to believe it was somehow all my doing — that I deserved to get fired. You want the world to believe that a lone autistic man’s so-called “inappropriate” and “unprofessional” behavior so totally overwhelmed the coping resources of a billion-dollar multi-national insurance company like MetLife, that the poor, defenseless billion-dollar multi-national insurance company (MetLife) had no choice but to sack the lone autistic man (me).

Bullshit.  You don’t even believe it yourself, which is why you all tried (and failed) to buy my silence with $37,000.00 and why your Seyfarth Shaw lawyer had to lie to the EEOC investigators about the facts of what really happened. He had to lie, because had he told the simple truth, MetLife would have gotten caught (with it’s pants down, so to speak).

You guys fired me for being autistic. Period. You know it as well as I do. And I’m not going to be silent about it.

But then, apparently, you’re all totally at ease with a little frolicksome fudge-packing?

You do realize that lots of people think sodomy is just downright disgusting, right? You do know that lots of people — no doubt lots of MetLife customers even — find it positively abhorrent, do you not? You have to be aware that some people find sodomy so very evil that they’re actually willing to beat, torture, and murder gay men in retaliation for doing it?

For many, many people in the world consensual man-on-man sodomy is horribly unacceptable, but somehow you and MetLife are all OK with it. Somehow you and MetLife are OK with sodomy, but Autism is just too much for the company to handle.

Did I get that right? Did I understand that correctly?

Sincerely,

Daniel L. Scholten, a.k.a. “The Walrus”


[1]For example, here is an exuberantly LGBT-friendly MetLife propaganda video. In my opinion it should be called Bring Your Whole Self To Work, As Long As You’re Not Autistic.