What I Did Not Do To Get Fired From My Last Job

If for some reason you wish to know what I definitely did not do to get fired from my last job, then please this Position Statement.

Now, you are of course perfectly welcome to jump right to reading that maliciously unflattering piece of trash fiction if you want to, but it might help if you had a little background first:


For two years I worked as a full-time employee at a company I’ve decided to call the XYZ Insurance Company — a for-profit, publicly owned billion-dollar, global, multinational insurance and financial products and services company, with resources so vast that when the company lost upwards of 2 billion dollars in 2016 it more or less shrugged it off and announced to the world “oh, well, you win some, you lose some.”

For two years I worked as a “Production Management Consultant” in the company’s global IT hub as a level-2 production support analyst, although please don’t ask me to explain what that means, because I never did actually figure it out. One thing I could never understand is why the company uses the misleading term consultant in a job title for its own employees. I was a full-time employee for the company, not a consultant. In any case, don’t quote me on this, but I think my main job was just to help my boss, a woman I have decided to call Huntress, manage the 70-or-so real consultants (i.e. contingent workers) she had in her employ.

I worked for Huntress for nearly two years, and then about three weeks before I got fired I was transitioned to a new position and a new boss, a man I have decided to call Robin the Boy Wonder (“Robin”).

Then, three weeks later, late in the afternoon on Friday May 19, 2017, Robin called me at home and then conferenced in an HR representative, a woman I have decided to call Supergirl. Speaking as though reading from some script, the two of them politely informed me that I was being fired because of what they alleged to be some “…violation of XYZ’s Code of Conduct and XYZ’s Email and Other Electronic Communication policy.”

When I asked them to clarify what that meant, they just repeated what they had said, and offered no new information. I tried to explain to them that I am autistic, and that whatever it was they were referring to it was just a behavioral manifestation of autism. I tried to explain that firing me for being autistic was illegal. I told them that they were breaking the law. But they did not believe me, and stood their ground. I became frustrated, and then angry, and then livid. I promised them both that I would prove to them that they were breaking the law. I didn’t know it at the time, but I have recently discovered that one of the laws they broke is Title 18 USC Section 241, Conspiracy against Rights.

This Federal Civil Rights Statute, under the investigative jurisdiction of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (“FBI”), empowers a sentencing authority to impose a maximum fine of $10,000 and a maximum prison term of 10 years or both, in the event that “… two or more persons conspire to injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate any person in any State, Territory, Commonwealth, Possession, or District in the free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured to him by the Constitution or laws of the United States, or because of his having so exercised the same;….”

More specifically, I believe that Robin and Supergirl, working under the legal guidance of an attorney I have decided to call Batman, and alongside several others, most of whose names I can only guess, did “conspire to injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate” me in my home State “in the free exercise or enjoyment” of my Constitutional Right to due process, and to my right as an autistic person to protection under the Americans with Disabilities Act (“ADA”).

As a side note, in addition to breaking this law (and others), by calling me in my home to fire me like they did, Robin and Supergirl also foolishly left in my possession the company laptop computer I’d been using for two years, and on which had accumulated, through the performance of certain normal data analysis tasks I had performed for the company, the Social Security Numbers, names, addresses, birthdays, etc. of thousands, possibly tens of thousands of XYZ’s valued customers.

Now, I don’t know about you, but if I ever found out that a company of which I was a customer, and to which I had entrusted knowledge of my SSN, name, etc., had foolishly left that information in the hands of an autistic man whose Civil Rights they’d just violated, and who was absolutely livid about it, I would take my business to a company with higher data protection standards.

In any case, a few days later I filed a charge against the company with the so-called “Equal” Employment Opportunity Commission (“E”EOC; apparently “equal” as long as you don’t have a psychiatric disability such as autism, despite the organization’s self-congratulatory advertisements to the contrary). A couple of months later the “E”EOC pretended to help us mediate, which failed disastrously, and then a couple of months after that, the “E”EOC’s so-called “investigative” unit pretended to investigate my charge, which was also a disaster.

As part of the “E”EOC’s failure to investigate my charge, the young woman who pretended to investigate it, whom I have decided to call Batgirl, accepted from Batman (remember, the attorney representing XYZ) a document that he tried to pass off as something that “E”EOC calls a position statement. In that alleged (sham of a) “position statement”, Batman tells Batgirl what I definitely did not do to get fired from my last job.

Please click here read Batman’s largely fictional version of why I got fired from my last job. In future posts I will be debunking this vicious bullshit line by line.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Please Excuse my Autistic Obsession with Title 18 USC Section 241

A hand holding an ace of hearts playing card.

Image Credit: Shutterstock

I’d like to apologize for my current autistic obsession with Title 18 USC Section 241.

I know that in general I’m not supposed to play the autism-card, but I really don’t see how else to explain it — and this is not for lack of trying. I assure you, I have tried repeatedly and with numerous people to explain this obsession so that it makes sense to to them, but so far even the friendliest responses have been — however politely so — implacably skeptical. I’ve reached the point where really the only thing left is to throw up my arms and say “oh, well, autism strikes again!”

If that seems like a cop out, well, I’m sorry for that too.

To be honest, and only in a strictly rational, dryly intellectual sense, even I can see that Title 18 USC Section 241 is probably the last thing I should be obsessing about. Back in October I found a great new job, with a great company, and which allows me to make a decent living writing and fixing computer programs — really the only thing I’ve ever tried to do  professionally that ever showed any stable-career potential, even though I have never actually been able to fulfill that potential.

And the really cool part is that I can do this full-time from home!

It was incredibly lucky for me to get this job. For my family and me it was like winning the lottery. It’s really the first dream job I’ve ever had, and it’s perfectly obvious to everyone in my life, and even I can see quite clearly — again, in a strictly rational, dryly intellectual sense — that I really ought to be obsessing about my new job, instead of Title 18 USC Section 241. Even worse, my obsession with Title 18 USC Section 241 is distracting me from my work and making it difficult to focus, thus threatening to eventually add this new dream job to my long list of career failures.

But that pit bull in my skull doesn’t seem to care about any of that.

I mean that figuratively, of course. I know that this “pit bull” is just me. In fact, I’m actually being somewhat disingenuous in talking about it like that, as though this imaginary animal’s motives were somehow inscrutable even to me — somehow not my own. But that’s not quite right. To be perfectly candid, I really do think I understand exactly why I’m so obsessed about Title 18 USC Section 241 — why it has become the most important focus of my life right now, why I think that even if it does eventually fuck up my current job, then, well that’s just too friggin bad — this law is simply more important than that. I have no problem whatsoever explaining this to myself. Within the confines of my own skull, it all makes perfect sense to me. Furthermore, and believe it or not, despite my many attempts and consistent failure to do so, I even still think that I might successfully explain my reasons to others — to you, even — if only I would just keep trying, and trying, and trying.

Which, of course, is exactly why I keep writing about it. Because from where I’m standing — given my own unique and admittedly autistic perspective on the world — I can see quite clearly just how utterly important this law actually is, even if the rest of you cannot…yet.






Why I Am Not A Conspiracy Theorist

Man wearing hat made from a colander and tinfoil

Image found here.

I’m not a conspiracy theorist because I understand that a conspiracy is just a gang of fools who share the control delusion that they’ve actually got things all figured out and under control. And a conspiracy theorist is just another fool who shares that same control delusion, even though he or she is not actually a member of the gang of wannabe conspirators.

The world is just not that simple. Although I do think it’s true that some people really do have more executive influence than others — at least temporarily and in certain situations — I think really anybody or any group of anybodies who seriously thinks that they’re running things, and especially anybody who agrees with them on that point — is disconnected from reality.

But that’s just my opinion, for now, and until I see a good reason to change it. But enough about me already. What do you think? I’d really like to know.