How to Hire Me Retroactively!

I see myself as a working professional, not a charity. My chosen profession is what I’m calling Diversity Acceptance Consulting. The product/service I sell is increased awareness, understanding, and acceptance of human diversity in general, but I mainly specialize in autism. I also do some work in the niche-specialty of sitting down while urinating despite having a penis.

I know, I know, but apparently it’s a thing.

My Business Model: Your Satisfaction Is My First Priority; After which I Simply Must Feed My Kids

I showcase my work as a DA Consultant here on this blog, and if you like this blog and think you’d enjoy paying me retroactively for having created it — so that I can feed my kids, pay my bills, make bail, etc., and thus remain free to continue creating it — then please use the PayPal button below to retroactively purchase 1 or more “Customer Satisfaction Units” (CSU) as you wish.

“What is this Customer Satisfaction Unit of which you speak?”

Right. As a customer, the meaning of a CSU is almost entirely up to you and will vary widely between my clients. Some folks may find zero satisfaction in my blog, in which case they can hardly be considered clients. Others may find a great deal of satisfaction, and some may find a level of satisfaction that lies somewhere in between. Also, some folks may have no money, others may have a shit-ton of money, and many will have an amount that lies somewhere between those extremes.

In order to accommodate all of this variation, I’ve decided to use this idea of a “Customer Satisfaction Unit”. For the most part, you as my client get to decide how to divide your own unique level of satisfaction up into CSUs. To help you do this, I will fix the CSU price at $1.00 USD, but then you can have total freedom to decide how to divide your own level of satisfaction up into CSUs in a way such that you can comfortably afford to pay me for your satisfaction as my client.

For example, suppose you decide that you have enjoyed some of the content on my blog enough to justify within the confines of your own budget paying me $50.00 USD for having created the blog. Then, that would mean you obtained 50 units of customer satisfaction, and so to pay me for my service you just have to enter the number 50 into that little box next to the PayPal button, click on the button, and follow the remaining prompts.

cash_cow_248x210Although I absolutely will pay taxes on whatever I earn through the sale of CSUs, I probably won’t donate to any charities just yet, unless my DA Consulting business becomes a serious cash cow, in which case I will definitely share my bounty with those in need. If you think I’m being too selfish for now, please feel free to force me to donate money by deducting any percentage you wish from whatever you were planning to pay me and then just donating that percentage to the charity of your choice. In the extreme, if you want me to donate 100% of your payment, just wait till the next time you donate to some charity and then send me an email to let me know that you did so. I know it won’t help me buy shoes for my children, but it’s probably good for a laugh, which is not without value.

Whether you choose to support my work today or simply to enjoy it for a while as you consider the idea of supporting it, please know that I feel profoundly grateful for the opportunity to be considered as your go-to Diversity Acceptance Consultant.

Have a great day!

 

Client Satisfaction Units (CSU)

Units of client satisfaction (CSU): You obtain these by freely enjoying the content you find on this blog. As my client, you also have total freedom to decide how many CSUs you have obtained via your enjoyment of my blog. Although I do fix the CSU price at $1.00 per CSU, you are under no obligation whatsoever to pay me for these until you feel ready to do so. Then and only then, you may pay for your CSUs as follows: suppose you determine that you obtained 50 CSUs through your enjoyment of my blog. Simply enter the number 50 in the entry field below and click on the Pay with PayPal button. You will then be guided through the payment process, and ultimately receive a payment confirmation via Email. MY CUSTOMER SATISFACTION GUARANTEE: If after paying for your CSUs you decide that you did not actually get your money’s worth after all, please send me an email via my Contact page and I will send you a refund ASAP.

$1.00