Hello Sulla Felix,
Once again, thank you for all the challenging comments you’ve left on my blog these past few days. Although after much reflection I really think you’ve been overreacting more to your misunderstanding of me and than to the person I really am, I want to assure you again that on the chance that your observations may in fact make a useful contribution to my psychiatric treatment, I plan to show all of them to my Autism doctor at the Duke Center for Autism and Brain Development.
Also, I am truly sorry for suggesting that you were some sort of “troll”. That was just my own knee-jerk defensiveness in response to the substantial tough-love challenges you’ve offered me. I can see now that you’ve done me a valuable service, and I hope you will always feel welcome to offer your feedback to me in whatever way works for you.
But there is one comment that you made and that I find especially troubling. You left it as part of your response to my post Anonymous Guest-Blogger or Annoying Troll, Part 1: Who Is ‘Sulla Felix’?. At the end of that comment you wrote:
However, like I have done countless times with my bipolar sister, it falls on deaf ears and convoluted internal rationalizations that everything you do is right and just and the world is out to get you.
Now, I’m pretty sure you must not realize it yet, which is why I feel compelled to draw it to your attention, but that comment strongly suggests that you have a history of emotionally abusing your sister under the guise of “trying to help her”.
If I’m right about that, then I implore you to stop doing that to her. I seriously doubt it’s helping her, and is probably only making it much harder for her to cope with her psychiatric disability, if not actually making it worse.
Bipolar disorder cannot be cured with emotionally abusive lectures and scoldings, even “countless” many of them. Also, it may well be the case that your sister’s “deaf ears” and “convoluted internal rationalizations” are the result of a kind of thick callous, so to speak, that has formed around her psyche in response to the abuse she’s received over the years from you and no doubt many others in her life.
Or maybe she just thinks you’re an ignorant blowhard and has developed the habit of ignoring your “countless” hissy-fits.
Abuse is not therapy. It’s nothing more than a hopeless, abusive, and utterly useless venting of frustration upon those with psychiatric disabilities — arguably the most vulnerable among us. When you abuse your psychiatrically disabled sister in the way suggested to me by your comment above, you are unjustly punishing her for your own ignorance of truly effective responses.
Your ignorance should be yours to manage, not your sister’s.
To the extent that I’m right about this, and as a possible stop-gap measure for your due consideration, I would think that simply staying away from your sister at all costs would be a great way to help her — for the time being at least, and until you have had a chance to learn ways to be around her that don’t punish her for being disabled. Of course, I’m not a doctor and my only licence is for driving a car, so please keep that in perspective as you evaluate my suggestion. Really your best bet is to seek help from a qualified professional.
Best of luck to both of you, and thanks again for your feedback.
Daniel L. Scholten, a.k.a. “The Walrus”