An Open Letter to the Inappropriate-Behavior Police

The U.S. Constitution is displayed with a brown gavel on it

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vigilante: a member of a volunteer committee organized to suppress and punish crime summarily (as when the processes of law are viewed as inadequate); broadly: a self-appointed doer of justice.

vigilance committee: a committee of vigilantes.

From the entries for “vigilante”  and “vigilance committee” in Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary.

Dear Inappropriate-Behavior Police (IBP),

I urge you to read this letter carefully. In doing so, you may wish to know that it’s actually an “open letter”, by which I mean that I am going to post it on my blog for the whole world to read. Yup — the whole fucking world.

Whoops! Was my use of the F-word there “inappropriate” or “unprofessional”? I really don’t think so, but perhaps you disagree. If so, I invite you to just add this allegedly “inappropriate” or “unprofessional” use of the F-word “to my tab”, so to speak – by which I mean your little top-secret list of all my alleged “inappropriate behavior” offenses. You know, the list you all fabricated during that secret sham investigation you did on me last year? I’m referring to the list that eventually deluded you all into thinking that you could actually get away with stealing my Constitutional rights to due process and to the protections offered me as an autistic person by the American’s with Disabilities Act. Yes, yes, that list – the one that led you to believe falsely that you could just fire me with impunity from my job at the XYZ Insurance Company, and this for the pseudo-crime of being autistic.

On the afternoon of May 19, 2017, as two of your own deputies were committing this crime on behalf of the rest of you – recall they actually called me at home after work and told me that I was being fired for an alleged “…violation of [XYZ]’s Code of Conduct and [XYZ]’s Email and Other Electronic Communication policy]…” – I made a promise to these two individuals, and very soon I intend to keep it. I promised these two extra-judicial IB fake-police officers that I would eventually prove to them that in firing me they were in fact breaking the law; and though it has taken me several months to figure out just how to do that, I believe I now have nearly everything I need.

I have caught you, you fools. I have caught you all. And now I’m going to help the authorities – the real policepersons, a.k.a. the FBI – to bring you all to Justice.

It turns out the law you broke is known as the Conspiracy against Rights Statute, or Title 18 U.S. Code § 241, and it empowers a sentencing authority to impose a maximum fine of $10,000.00, or a maximum prison term of 10 years, or both; and this for fulfilling any of several violation criteria, most of which don’t apply to you, but in particular one of which that does. This is in fact the Statute’s first violation criterion, which states,

“If two or more persons conspire to injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate any person in any State, Territory, Commonwealth, Possession, or District in the free exercise or enjoyment of any right or privilege secured to him by the Constitution or laws of the United States, or because of his having so exercised the same;…”

From Title 18 U.S. Code § 241 (Conspiracy against Rights)

To clarify, I believe that my family and I are the victims of your unlawful vigilance committee, or gang of self-deputized vigilantes; whose lofty, self-appointed, and profoundly misguided purpose is to enforce a highly discriminatory and fundamentally incoherent corporate “Code of Conduct” for a certain billion dollar, global, multinational insurance company, which I referred to a moment ago as the XYZ Insurance Company (XYZ), my former employer.

In particular, I believe that roughly a dozen of you, give or take, have conspired with each other to “injure, oppress, threaten, or intimidate” me in my State of residence “in the free exercise or enjoyment” of my right to protection as an autistic person under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and of my Constitutional right to due process.

Now, I strongly suspect you must have done this primarily as a consequence of your own ignorance and confusion regarding Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD, or autism), and no doubt the rest of the DSM V, as well. I strongly suspect that this collective ignorance and confusion effectively blinded you all to the important distinction that exists between the symptomatology of a psychiatric disability such as autism, and genuine misconduct. But however much this ignorance and confusion may explain why you broke the law, to my view it absolutely cannot excuse it. You people have way too much power, and if you are not held accountable for your actions, you will only go on to hurt others with ASD and other psychiatric disabilities — as I’m quite sure you have already done in the past, long before you did it to my family and me, and without ever getting caught.

But now I have caught you, you fools! And I’m going to help the the FBI to bring you all to Justice.

As a direct result of your unlawful actions, my family and I have had to endure intense and protracted levels of emotional distress, which continue to this day, in fact. Among the consequences of this relentless flood of cortisol through our veins and arteries, a variety of damages and injuries have ensued, including, but not limited to the relapse of a chronic health condition that my wife must manage, and which had been in remission for two years. In the end my wife had to undergo a two-month course of steroids in order to quell the flare up. We have also sustained a heavy financial loss, amounting to roughly $40,000 in lost salary and benefits, because it took 5 months for me to find another job.

I believe you should compare these unlawful posse-punishments that you imposed on us against the penalties you are likely to receive as first offenders for having violated the Conspiracy against Rights Statute. As first offenders I think you are unlikely to do any prison time, and the fines you will pay will be not more than $10,000, which is still far below the roughly $40,000 effective fine you ultimately coerced us into paying for my pseudo-crime of showing signs of autism in the workplace — symptoms which you ignorantly and vindictively stigmatized as “inappropriate” or “unprofessional”.

I urge you to note the glaring implication this comparison suggests, which is that you each appear to believe the absurdity that the pseudo-crime of “inappropriate” behavior is roughly five times worse than a Conspiracy against Rights violation – an actual Federal offense!

Now, in case you’re still not sure exactly which list I’ve been referring to, I mean the list that displays all of the cherry-picked pseudo-evidence you all tricked me into providing you – the one you probably all scrutinized so diligently during your secret sham in absentia trial of me so that you could comfortably and irrationally rationalize to yourselves sustaining the exact same conclusion you had long since jumped to like robotic little bunny rabbits in flight from the fox of your ignorance-and-confusion-fueled anxieties about, in general, the psychiatrically disabled, and in particular those of us with autism, and even more specifically me.

You know, I never did get to see this list myself, but two separate individuals have told me about it, including a former boss. I have only learned just recently what else is on the list, but during the conversation with my former boss – we spoke about it one morning late last April, barely a month before I got fired – I learned that it documented the following alleged “transgressions” of the company’s shiny, utopian, but discriminatory and fundamentally incoherent (not to mention haphazardly enforced) “Code of Conduct”:

  1. Mr. [Autistickish] was observed sitting for 10-minutes with his eyes closed in one of the chairs out in front of the building;
  2. He was also seen exercising in the company fitness center during working hours;
  3. He is often away from his desk for long periods of time.

Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? Is that really the all you had on me, just three weeks before you fired me?

Golly. You know, it’s really too bad that you all did not invite me to my own secret trial. Had you done so, I really think I could have saved us all a lot of grief. I really think I could have stopped you from firing me and from breaking the law. I could have pointed out, for example, with respect to item (1), that the company actually put those chairs out in front of the building for its employees to sit in them. With respect to item (2), I would have explained that the company allowed the fitness center to be open during the day in order to encourage employees to exercise during the day. And finally with respect to (3), I would have reminded them that company’s campus where I was working at that time had been expressly designed to implement modern productivity enhancement theory, which in this case involved encouraging employees to make use of “alternate work spaces” – to specifically not feel “chained” to their desks, is the way it was commonly explained in casual conversation. This is proudly advertised both in the company’s onboarding orientation classes, as well as written prominently on a wall next to an entrance to the dining commons. But regardless, I never was away from my desk without my mobile phone, and would have answered immediately, had the particular IBP spy that reported this alleged “infraction” seriously wanted to know where I was, instead of been just trying to cherry-pick the evidence required to justify my termination on May 19th.

I have caught you, you motherfucking fools! I have caught you all!

12 Comments

      1. YW. I was once fired from a job because the friend of a friend of a friend of the HR director’s son found out I had cussed a little on my MySpace page. Unfortunately, because I live in Texas, there was absolutely jack all I could do about it.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Ugh. As an exercise, you might estimate the dollar amount of the pay and benefits you would have earned during the time you were unemployed. I maintain that amount is not just “like” a vigilante-punishment for having cussed a little on MySpace, it is literally a vigilante-punishment for having done so. So much for your Constitutional right to due process. You have my retroactive condolances. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. FYI, I just accidentally deleted a comment you left on my recent post about Cream of Tartar. I’m very sorry about that. I was going to respond to the comment and thank you for it, but I must have accidentally hit the delete icon. 😦

        Like

  1. Get ’em! I had a similar experience in the past wherein a group of hateful, backstabbing women conspired to get my fired from a position. I know how deflating and frustrating it can be. I’m glad you are pursuing a legal case, so maybe they won’t hurt others in the same way in the future.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

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