Why We Should Not Do #HeToo This Week

No_he_too_movementIn response to Anthony Rapp’s public allegation that Kevin Spacey tried to seduce him when he was just 14-years old, I thought I would warn my fellow male sex-abuse survivors that this is probably not the time for a #HeToo movement, which will almost certainly be perceived by many as another version of #AllLivesMatter.

In an earlier post I tried to explain that #MeToo was only superficially about sex-abuse, and profoundly about the fact that most of the world’s people view girls and women as being somehow not quite as human as boys and men, a problem that really is vastly more pervasive and consequential than the (also serious) problem of sex abuse, which is in many ways a symptom of the problem of the ancient, pandemic tendency to view and treat girls and women as merely human-ish.

Yes, yes, of course the boy victims of sexual abuse matter too, but that is not what many are going to think when they start seeing #HeToo. Most likely, many will misunderstand what #HeToo is really about (the sexual abuse of boys by grown men or women) and instead see it as yet another example of men trying to upstage women and make it all about the testicles. A #HeToo movement at this point would likely be a lot more confusing than useful, and needlessly expose male sex abuse survivors to the risk of unnecessary privilege-shaming on the part of those who really understand what #MeToo was all about.

So, even though I too was sexually abused as a child, and not just by men, for the record I will not participate in any sort of #HeToo movement.

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